Unburdening the dead spirits

Oh! Kunti you are lucky
At least you know the father of your first born
Look at me
I do not know who he is
But I am sure of what he is not
He is not that magnificent sun
Nor is he wind
Nor the earth nor the fire
Nor the water nor the sky

He came and keeps coming
Yet each day I knew him less
A formless
A scentless
A colorless being
Was he actually a man? That too I do not know

I remember that night
The eternally locked doors of my maiden-room unlocked itself
I crossed that uncrossable line
That infinite line in between him and me
That day they say
Some tiny spirits like ‘prestige’ deserted me
One after the other
I do not know
How many such death spirits I need to free
Before I free myself

That night he embraced me
On the floor of that horizonless expanse
He disrobed my clothes one after the other
With each pieces of clothes he rustle away from my body
A tiny spirit flew out from me like eternally caged birds

He put his lips on mine
And they say I lost my grace
He put his lips on my breast
And they say I lost shame
He merged within me
They say I lost everything…
Then………..
The smudged kohl of my eyes stained his shoulder
The disheveled hair of mine teased his cheeks
The rose of my lips shamelessly bloom on his forehead
My breast merged with his chest
I do not remember what covered our togetherness that night
My phanek or his khudei!
I know not

The wicked womb continued its eternal betrayal
Yet for the first time I loved to be betrayed
For the first time
I trump the eternal betrayal of this world
For the first time this betrayal freed me
From those dead spirits
Named ……….

Izzat
Leirangi leinam
Chastity
……………..
……………..
……………..

This ultimate union
Made me lose everything
I did not know it’s too easy to lose my essence
My maiden body has to take a man…
I did not know it’s too easy to lose everything
My maiden mind had to just spill a secret.

The Defiance

Let me cast aside these jewels
The adornments in my ears; the necklace in my neck
Who am I waiting for to be watched wistfully.
For whom am I waiting with such burden?

Let me cast aside the inner layers beneath my phanek
Let my blood flow along the smooth of my thighs
With a freedom that it has never known
Beyond all shame let it be seen by you all.

Why my breasts are being bound so with such tightness
Is it the crime of shedding the divine milk?
They say it’s a pair of divine beauty.
Divinity! Oh u always comes with chains

Who has thrown me a piece of veil?
Veil be cast aside,
It is your gaze, it’s your sense
What have I and my veil got to do with it?

Your feet I touched that day in the public
Now in this silent night u kiss my feet
Tell me whose feet are pure and who’s impure.
Oh! What is this purity somebody tell me?

A dip in the ganges of ‘sin’
A silent confession in front of a sinner
A nikah that can end with three ‘talaqs’
A marriage solemnized by an illiterate priest
Purity made of all impurities.